I don't write to complain or point fingers. But in my eyes, this is what I see everywhere. It's what others see but yet it's not talked about.
Being single & a christian is not an easy thing. This has eat at me for years. Started even when I wasn't saved then since 2010 when I gave my life, my heart to Jesus. I remember that immediately I had to change things. I felt so much conviction about the life I had had and how I thought and felt about sex that I said not again till I marry again. Before I got married the first time & even while I was at times, sex was such a huge part of my life. In my mind mostly. So I got away from it. I said no more temptation. Or the temptation I put myself in anyway. Satan sticks his nose in it as well. But talk about a difficult thing to get away from when our world revolves around it. Then just being in any church when 99% are married and then other 1% are their children.
I have prayed & asked God to please guide my path to the husband He wants for me. He may be saying no but I still ask. And no I'm not alone per say. I have family, friends, church family, but their all married. Ha, I just realized I'm writing about being single on a Friday night. How ironic? Anyways just a funny.
I know that I'm not dealing with all this the right way.When all you've ever wanted was to be married & have that family & you're a divorced single mom living with her parents, life kinda tugs at ya.
Tonight tho, I know its God putting this on me, I started googling & came across a couple of articles. In one it talked about having your heart broken & claiming vows(curses) against yourself but saying things like, never getting married, never trusting a guy again, always gonna be alone. Ya see what guys do to us, NO NO I'm just kidding.
I've said them all tho. By doing that tho, as I learned in my post-abortive class, all those negative things we say over ourselves and others stick to us like glue with the devil being the glue. He loves it & will keep reminding us of the the things we say, especially if we are trying to break free. He's saying NO NO, remember what happened with him or such & such. It won't get any better with the next one. Just use them or ignore them.
After the vows of lies then the article talked about how we(I) should pray to God to reveal all theses lies about love & men I've told myself for so long, so that I can rebuke them. And then pray for a new heart.
Ezekiel 36:26-27
26 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. 27 I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will keep My judgments and do them.
That's what inside me a lot of times, a heart of stone. In so many different situations I've learned to harden my heart when it should be feeling love, loss, happiness, sadness, everything and sometimes I don't. I want to feel everything not just what I want my heart to feel. I want my heart to be open to any situation so that I don't miss what God wants me to see or hear. Even for the calling He has for me my heart has to be fully open to Him. In everything we do our hearts have to be open to Him at all times. We see & listen with our hearts or we should. Jesus didn't see the lame & sick with His eyes, His heart of love took Him to them.
The next article talked about how just need to focus on God. He has a reason for me to be single right now or if He chooses, the rest of my life. Focus on the now with Him & He will take care of the later, whatever it may hold. Sounds easy enough. But all these years stacking up on top of each other and me saying on the outside, I'm ok, God's got it, but inside I'm crying out why God why.
As you can see my focus is on me not Jesus.
Jeremiah 29:11
11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.
I just have to let Him lead me to my future. In Phillipians 4:it says
Philippians 4:11-13
11 Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: 12 I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. 13 I can do all things through Christ[a] who strengthens me.
I have to be content in where He has me & know that as long as I have Him I have strength to overcome.
1 Corinthians 7:32-35New King James Version (NKJV)
32 But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord. 33 But he who is married cares about the things of the world—how he may please his wife. 34 There is[a] a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband.35 And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, and that you may serve the Lord without distraction.
Whether man or woman, if we are unmarried, we are(should be) for the things of the Lord & not of the world. But if we are married we may think of our spouses first & may be distracted from focusing on God. Of course this is Paul's view.
Yes if we are married we can focus more on God, if it's our priority, I know some married couples who focus more on God than themselves and do it together.
I do understand what Paul is trying to say tho. I just don't want it for me, but the point is it could be what God wants & I'll have to accept it & live for Him & He will still give me a future & a hope. HOW AWESOME IS THAT!!
Matthew 6:33
33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Seek Him & my future & hope that He has for me shall be added. I don't have to be married to have His joy.
I have to live day by day with Him because only He knows where I'm going. He guides my every step to the future He has for me.
Not to say that I won't be happy if I don't marry, because if I'm living for Him, being obedient, then I will have joy & happiness in my life. I am loved in this world but most of all I am loved by Jesus. That is what I have to fill my heart with everyday so that my mind will be happy too.
Lord just help me to live for you. So that Kaylee will my happiness in You and do the same in her life.
At the end of this article it had the lyrics to a song call While I'm waiting by John Waller.
"I will move ahead, bold and confident,
Taking every step in obedience,
While I'm waiting I will serve You,
While I'm waiting I will worship,
While I'm waiting I will not faint,
I'll be running the race, Even while I wait."
http://youtu.be/Bb7TSGptd3Y
Never lose my focus on Him. As my favorite verse say, the end of Numbers 13:30, "We are well able to overcome it."
The thing about it all is this isn't talked about much at all. I've never seen anything about it till I purposely looked it up. Because in our christian world its married people or early 20s young adults & youth. No in between in most churches. Not many people or places focus on those that are single & how to deal with it. Because its hard. I will say it, IT IS HARD!! You're not looked at the same when your single. At times you can feel your not trusted as much and I'm saying in or out of the church. In among any people. Unless your this huge mega church most activities are with married people. I don't talk about all this to complain & whine. I'm learning what to do even before I wrote this. I want people to understand that I & I'm sure other singles feel this way, don't want to always be at every function because it normally focuses on being a couple even tho the couples don't realize it. I know its not being mean or anything like that, its almost a habit because your always around each other and for some reason married people have different conversations than single people supposedly.
It's kinda funny to me, married people get nervous around single people and vice versa but I can see when men or women are nervous to even give me a hug in front of other people. For me it seems silly but I understand their point of view also.
Again I don't write to complain or point fingers. But in my eyes, this is what I see. It's what others see but yet it's not talked about.
And PLEASE DO NOT THINK I'M REACHING OUT for someone to help me find somebody. That is not what this is about. It's about me and others being content where God has me & being obedient to what He wants me to do. I just want to put more info out there for others like me to have. I'm very thankful for the material I have found that has helped me. I just feel it needs to be addressed more.
GOD BLESS AND HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!!
Be the sunshine!!!!
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