Wow its been so long since I've posted!!! With everything going on right now with Planned Parenthood it seems  like a good time to. 

Watching these videos is heart wrenching! Mostly because this was probably done to my son. Yes if you haven't read my other posts, I am a post-abortive mother. 14 years ago I had an abortion. I took my son Caleb away from me. But I have been redeemed. I'm forgiven and God does not see what happened any more. 

I haven't been online a lot lately and getting on here and seeing all these videos is just well I hope eye opening for some that Planned Parenthood is not here to help anyone but themselves. They don't care who they hurt or kill to make that dollar. 

It's over whelming to my heart though because I think about my child. What did they do with my child after they tore him limb from limb? Did he go in the garbage with so many or did someone try to buy him?

My friend Ashley Sigrest has a wonderful post titled How much was my baby worth?  It really makes you think about it. Like she said, "How much more did they make off my baby."

http://ashleysigrest.com/2015/07/28/how-much-was-my-baby-worth/

Planned Parenthood says ITS not a BABY, ITS not a HUMAN, ITS a clump of tissue. GOD SAYS AND I SAY!!  HE/SHE IS A BABY, HE/SHE IS A HUMAN, A CHILD, YOUR CHILD, YOUR NIECE, YOUR NEPHEW, YOUR GRANDCHILD. 

We have to stop this! The useless killing of our babies! Never given a chance to dream of being a princess, a firefighter, president, a doctor, nothing!!!!!

People may tell you oh its ok, no one will know. YOU WILL KNOW FOREVER! People may say if your not ready you can have dealt with, You don't have to give up your fun life. LIE, YOU GIVE  UP THE FUN LIFE FOR A LIFE OF HIDING, SHAME, GUILT, HATE, FEELING UNLOVED, POSSIBLY NEVER ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN. THE LIST GOES ON AND ON AND WHAT AN ABORTION CAN CAUSE.

I pray that if you are contemplating abortion that you will change your mind. It will only change your life for the worst in the end. You will grieve the loss of your child forever. 

I pray that if you are a post-abortive mother that you will find some one that you can talk to. Ashley will be very happy to listen and talk with you, I would be happy to listen and talk with you. You are not alone. There are those of us that have been healed and even so its still hard but it makes us want to fight even more. 

Again please don't hesitate to talk to anyone. 

God bless and have a wonderful weekend!!!

Belinda Jones

SINGLE IN A COUPLE WORLD

Written 2-6-15



 I don't write to complain or point fingers.  But in my eyes, this is what I see everywhere. It's what others see but yet it's not talked about. 

Being  single & a christian is not an easy thing. This has eat at me for years. Started even when I wasn't saved then since 2010 when I gave my life, my heart to Jesus. I remember that immediately I had to change things. I felt so much conviction about the life I had had and how I thought and felt about sex that I said not again till I marry again. Before I got married the first time & even while I was at times, sex was such a huge part of my life. In my mind mostly. So I got away from it. I said no more temptation. Or the temptation I put myself in anyway. Satan sticks his nose in it as well. But talk about a difficult thing to get away from when our world revolves around it. Then just being in any church when 99% are married and then other 1% are their children.
     I have prayed & asked God to please guide my path to the husband He wants for me. He may be saying no but I still ask. And no I'm not alone per say. I have family, friends, church family, but their all married. Ha, I just realized I'm writing about being single on a Friday night. How ironic? Anyways just a funny.
     I know that I'm not dealing with all this the right way.When all you've ever wanted was to be married & have that family & you're a divorced single mom living with her parents, life kinda tugs at ya.
    Tonight tho, I know its God putting this on me, I started googling & came across a couple of articles. In one it talked about having your heart broken & claiming vows(curses) against yourself but saying things like, never getting married, never trusting a guy again, always gonna be alone. Ya see what guys do to us, NO NO I'm just kidding.
     I've said them all tho. By doing that tho, as I learned in my post-abortive class, all those negative things we say over ourselves and others stick to us like glue with the devil being the glue. He loves it & will keep reminding us of the the things we say, especially if we are trying to break free. He's saying NO NO, remember what happened with him or such & such. It won't get any better with the next one. Just use them or ignore them. 
     After the vows of lies then the article talked about how we(I) should pray to God to reveal all theses lies about love & men I've told myself for so long, so that I can rebuke them. And then pray for a new heart.

Ezekiel 36:26-27

26 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. 27 I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will keep My judgments and do them.

     That's what inside me a lot of times, a heart of stone. In so many different situations I've learned to harden my heart when it should be feeling love, loss, happiness, sadness, everything and sometimes I don't. I want to feel everything not just what I want my heart to feel. I want my heart to be open to any situation so that I don't miss what God wants me to see or hear. Even for the calling He has for me my heart has to be fully open to Him. In everything we do our hearts have to be open to Him at all times. We see & listen with our hearts or we should. Jesus didn't see the lame & sick with His eyes, His heart of love took Him to them.

     The next article talked about how just need to focus on God. He has a reason for me to be single right now or if He chooses, the rest of my life. Focus on the now with Him & He will take care of the later, whatever it may hold.  Sounds easy enough. But all these years stacking up on top of each other and me saying on the outside, I'm ok, God's got it, but inside I'm crying out why God why.

     As you can see my focus is on me not Jesus.

Jeremiah 29:11

11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

I just have to let Him lead me to my future. In Phillipians 4:it says

Philippians 4:11-13

11 Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: 12 I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. 13 I can do all things through Christ[a] who strengthens me.

I have to be content in where He has me & know that as long as I have Him I have strength to overcome.

1 Corinthians 7:32-35New King James Version (NKJV)

32 But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord. 33 But he who is married cares about the things of the world—how he may please his wife. 34 There is[a] a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband.35 And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, and that you may serve the Lord without distraction.

Whether man or woman, if we are unmarried, we are(should be) for the things of the Lord & not of the world. But if we are married we may think of our spouses first & may be distracted from focusing on God. Of course this is Paul's view. 

     Yes if we are married we can focus more on God, if it's our priority, I know some married couples who focus more on God than themselves and do it together.

     I do understand what Paul is trying to say tho. I just don't want it for me, but the point is it could be what God wants & I'll have to accept it & live for Him & He will still give me a future & a hope. HOW AWESOME IS THAT!!

   

Matthew 6:33

33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

     Seek Him & my future & hope that He has for me shall be added. I don't have to be married to have His joy.

     I have to live day by day with Him because only He knows where I'm going. He guides my every step to the future He has for me. 

     Not to say that I won't be happy if I don't marry, because if I'm living for Him, being obedient, then I will have joy & happiness in my life.   I am loved in this world but most of all I am loved by Jesus. That is what I have to fill my heart with everyday so that my mind will be happy too.

     Lord just help me to live for you. So that Kaylee will my happiness in You and do the same in her life. 

     At the end of this article it had the lyrics to a song call While I'm waiting by John Waller.

    "I will move ahead, bold and confident, 

    Taking every step in obedience,

    While I'm waiting I will serve You,

    While I'm waiting I will worship,

    While I'm waiting I will not faint,

    I'll be running the race, Even while I wait."

http://youtu.be/Bb7TSGptd3Y

   Never lose my focus on Him. As my favorite verse say, the end of Numbers 13:30, "We are well able to overcome it."

     The thing about it all is this isn't talked about much at all. I've never seen anything about it till I purposely looked it up. Because in our christian world its married people or early 20s young adults & youth. No in between in most churches. Not many people or places focus on those that are single & how to deal with it. Because its hard. I will say it, IT IS HARD!! You're not looked at the same when your single. At times you can feel your not trusted as much and I'm saying in or out of the church. In among any people. Unless your this huge mega church most activities are with married people. I don't talk about all this to complain & whine. I'm learning what to do even before I wrote this.  I want people to understand that I & I'm sure other singles feel this way, don't want to always be at every function because it normally focuses on being a couple even tho the couples don't realize it. I know its not being mean  or anything like that, its almost a habit because your always around each other and for some reason married people have different conversations than single people supposedly.

   It's kinda funny to me, married people get nervous around single people and vice versa but I can see when men or women are nervous to even give me a hug in front of other people. For me it seems silly but I understand their point of view also.

    Again I don't write to complain or point fingers.  But in my eyes, this is what I see. It's what others see but yet it's not talked about. 

    And PLEASE DO NOT THINK I'M REACHING OUT for someone to help me find somebody. That is not what this is about. It's about me and others being content where God has me & being obedient to what He wants me to do. I just want to put more info out there for others like me to have. I'm very thankful for the material I have found that has helped me. I just feel it needs to be addressed more. 

GOD BLESS AND HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!!

Be the sunshine!!!!

HEIRS OF GOD!!!!

Romans 3:10 - As it is written: There is none righteous, no not one.
     No matter our good works, how much think we are good people. if our hearts aren't right, it doesn't matter. We could save the world from a bomb, but without Jesus in our hearts, believing in Him and what He did for us, we are still going to hell. Plain as that.

Romans 3:23 - for all have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God.
     We can be good people but we all sin. God's word says in Matthew 5:28, "But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Matthew 5:22 says " But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgement." Anger and hate are just as bad as murder itself. If we think about it, its in our hearts corrupting us. You don't have to go & do the actual deed to sin. No one since the beginning of Creation can say they have not sinned, except Jesus. He is the only perfect One. That what we strive for.

Romans 6:23 - For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
     What EXCITING  news this is!!!!!! Eternal life with Jesus. That with our sin we should die. No matter the sin our punishment is death, but God sent us the most wonderful gift. His Son Jesus to take that punishment for us, so that we could have eternal life in Christ if we accept Him. 

Romans 5:8 - But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
     How can anyone say God doesn't love us. He wants life for His people, His children, so much that His Son took our place on the cross. He took it all for us. If that's not love, I don't know what is.

Romans 10:9 - that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.
     I confess with my mouth that Jesus is Lord of all I believe and know He was raised from the dead by God. It's literally that easy if your heart wants it. Especially when you're just tired of this old world & know that you need something better. Let me tell ya Jesus is it!!!!! He was so worth giving up the old to get the new me. Yes I still fail daily, but the difference is knowing how much Jesus loves me no matter what I do. That even with my sin of abortion, I'm forgiven, I'm redeemed. I received His grace & mercy. He took my death for me so that I could live with Him forever. 

Romans 10:10 - For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession made unto salvation.
     To have righteousness we must believe with our hearts & have faith. For salvation, we must confess it with our mouths. The Bible mentions this several times that we must confess with our mouths so its obvious its something we need to do. We can't keep it to ourselves. We need deliverance from our sins and calling on the Lord for help is the only way. 

Romans 10:13 - For "whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved."
     Isn't that amazing!!! Just call on Jesus. Ask Him into our hearts & we will be saved.  How much more simple can He make it. We just call on Him and He does the work of saving us. We just have to make a choice.

Revelation 3:20 - Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me.
    To everyone Jesus is standing at the door of our hearts knocking and waiting. Hoping we choose to answer. When we do, He will dine with us offering us His life.. We only need to dine on His word to be filled to the rim & live forever & eternally with Him. 

John 6:51

51 I am the living bread which came down from heaven. If anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever; and the bread that I shall give is My flesh, which I shall give for the life of the world.”

John 7:38

38 He who believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.”

John 1:12 - But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name.

    I am a child of God. I have a Father that will never leave me nor forsake me. Anytime I'm in trouble, upset, tired, feel alone, He is there. My earthly father is amazing!!! I am truly blessed to have him but when he is gone I will always have my Father in Heaven.

Romans 8:15-17

15 For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.” 16 The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, 17 and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him,that we may also be glorified together.

He has adopted me into His kingdom. Will you join me as my brother and sister in Christ!!??!!

Caleb - My Redemption Story

LORD I PRAY FOR OPEN HEARTS AND MINDS BEFORE ANYONE READS MY STORY! FEEL THEIR HEARTS WITH YOUR LOVE! YOUR COMPASSION! LET THEM REMEMBER YOUR GRACE! IN JESUS  NAME AMEN! 

Some have heard this already but it really says what I want everyone to know.

    The Bible says in Luke 8:17 - For nothing is secret that will not be revealed, nor anything hidden that will not be known and come to light.

These secrets, big or small, hidden deep within will start to come up the closer we get to God. And its not to hurt us, its to save us.

    We all have secrets at sometime that we keep from usually those we love the most. Imagine living with one for 13 years. Then imagine what it would be like to be free from the hold it had on you, or actually the hold you let it have on you. Well, I can say that I took the power away from my secret. 
    If you let it have that power, secrets can literally kill us. Our hearts & minds die everyday that we don't speak up. Especially once you realize it can possibly help people. That's how I felt when God showed me its time to speak UP!! But that was the easy part, the hardest part is the first time telling someone, which would be my parents. And it was, the hurt I know they felt but still saying I love you & I'm proud of you for what you're doing. They are truly one of my greatest blessing.
    How I got to the night of telling them was God winding my path right where it needed to be. From being saved 5 years ago at Trenton Community Church and building my faith & foundation to 4 years later being invited by one of my best friends to come to Union Baptist Church and meeting my pastor Bro. David Hays, who in turn was able to help me talk to the right woman, my dear friend now Ashley, who had THE bible study for me. A study for post-abortive women. So yes, 13 years ago I made the decision to have an abortion and I have lived with the guilt, the regret, the shame and disgust with myself ever since. And living with it by myself. That is until the night of Sept. 06, 2014. The night I told my parents and the night God revealed to me my son's name. So, stepping out into the unknown God will do great things and He certainly showed up that night. God gave my son the name Caleb. His name means courageous. God knew exactly what I needed. 
     Most of us know Caleb is from the Old Testament. He was one of the 12 spies sent into the promised land. Reading everything I could that night about Caleb was a standing block to start from and not stop the journey God has for me. This one verse tho, means so much to me.

Numbers 13:30
Then Caleb quieted the people before Moses, and said, We must go up at once and take possession, for we are well able to overcome it.

     That verse speaks so much about how with God by my side, I can overcome whatever God wants me to go through and whatever satan tries to throw at me. 
     
     Over the years since I've been saved I can remember asking God to forgive me more than once for what I had done. During the study God & my teachers helped me to realize it was me not forgiving myself because from the very first time God forgave me and forgot. I was just beating myself up for it. 
     Of course now I know that I am completely forgiven & I forgive myself, otherwise I would never be able to move on. Because we all know that God didn't want the abortion to happen, but He knew I would make the choice, but He also knew the choice I could take later on. 

Psalm 139: 1-7
O Lord, You have searched me and known me,
You know my sitting down  and my rising up;
You understand my thought afar off. 
You comprehend my path and my lying down,
And are acquainted with all my ways.
For there is now a word on my tongue,
But behold, O Lord, You know it altogether.
You have hedged me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is high, I cannot attain it.
Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your Presence?

Praise God we can't hide from Him and He is always with us!!!!

     So I will take the path to use my past for good. My child's death will not be in vain. 
     Because there are too many young girls & women out there who just need a loving word or gesture to change a heart. To save lives. Those, like me, need someone who understands & won't pass judgement. Cause there are women & men who are hurting out there. 

     I know for a lot of my family & friends this is & will be a shock. Wondering why I did it & why I never told them. But know that SHAME IS A TRULY EVIL UGLY THING. It can make you do things you never thought you would & keep it from those you love the most, but in the end your just hurting them & yourself.
     For anyone wondering, Kaylee does know. She is ok. She understands the best she can. But she is helping me & knows to come to me with any questions. As I knew God would, He answered my prayer for her to understand the best she can and to forgive me. She has & that's the important part. God will use her too. We will be a fighting pair for all God's children.
     After you know all I can do is keep praying that God continues to answer my prayers of open & accepting hearts as He has been doing. 
BUT NO MATTER WHAT I KNOW I AM FORGIVEN & THAT JESUS LOVES ME & HE WILL NOT HURT ME WITH THIS. IT'S NOT IN HIS MIND ANYMORE WHEN HE THINKS OF ME.
His word says so,

Hebrew 8:12 says, For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more.

     Yes I was a liar, a thief, a murderer, yet here I am loved, forgiven and redeemed. The only thing God sees is the blood of Jesus covering me. He doesn't see what I was, He sees what I am today. His child doing her best to live for Him. 

IF ANYTHING IS TO COME OUT OF THIS, DON'T LET ANYONE, EVEN YOURSELF, MAKE YOU THINK YOU CAN'T BE FORGIVEN.
IF YOU COULDN'T THEN I WOULDN'T BE WHERE I AM TODAY. GOD WOULD NOT BLESS ME WITH KNOWING MY CHILD. HE WOULD NOT GIVE ME THE HOPE THAT I HAVE THAT HE WILL HELP ME HELP OTHERS. THAT HIS NAME WILL BE GLORIFIED IN ALL THINGS. 

God has shown me miraculous things over the past months and the past 2 weeks. No one can tell me He is isn't real, that He doesn't hear us in our darkest times. He is waiting for us to call out to Him. All we have to do is call out His name.
Jesus Jesus Jesus.

I am well able to overcome it with Jesus by my side!!
My story is still being written!! 

God bless


It's time to update my story!!! Today (2-11-16) I heard some things that really bothered me. Such as, I COULD NEVER FORGIVE A WOMAN FOR KILLING HER BABY!! I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW A WOMAN COULD DO THAT! I WOULD NEVER DO THAT!  Inside I wanted to SCREAM it, but I didnt. 

Can YOU forgive me? Someone you've worked with and talked about the Bible with so much with! And become friends with! Can you forgive me? Can you work with me now? Or is it going to be weird? Are you going to look down on me now? What's going to happen? I'm in a room with "Christians". They say murderers can be forgiven. It came out of their mouths. And they get upset when abortion gets brought up. But they don't know. Maybe someone is carrying something around like I am. 

 The way I felt today, I felt lower than dirt, for just a little while. Then it went away because I know Jesus loves ME! All that is washed away! I went from feeling like dirt, like OH NO what if they know, then it went to wanting to just get everyone's attention and telling them my story. The moment left. Telling my story in front of everybody at church wasn't a problem. Telling those I work with is much harder. I have to see and work with them everyday. I pray this will reach them!   

Resolutions... I know I know I'm late

Yes I'm late, I know, but better late than never... I've had it written since Dec. 30 tho..

It's that time of year again. Gonna make changes. I'm losing weight, gettin' fit, going for that new job, better relationships with family & friends and the list goes on & on. All are well & good but not one of any kind of resolution we make can have ever lasting life benefits but one. To have that intimate & loving relationship with Jesus. And this shouldn't really be considered one because we should strive for that relationship everyday. 

With that relationship though we can lose weight, talk to God about our job, & our other relationships. It's all very possible when we lean on Him. 

Isaiah 12:2

2 Behold, God is my salvation,
I will trust and not be afraid;
‘For Yah, the Lord, is my strength and song;
He also has become my salvation.’”

Let's all start a new year fresh with God. That we strive to be closer & we will have that strength to do things that will help our bodies & help us with family & friends. He is the root of any resolution staying with us. 

Because if we can focus all our strength on Him, everything else can fall into place.

1 Cor. 5:17

17Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.

God Bless and have a wonderful year in Christ!!